Blog #7: I Want It That Way

by The Backstreet Boys

One of the lessons I’m learning through this process is to release my resistance to how the information comes. I’ve been trying to force it to be somewhat linear; first receive the soul song title and sit with the lyrics for insight, then receive comments from Spirit, next comes the interpretation of the lyrics and any questions for Spirit, write and post the piece, then wait to receive the next song assignment. That was me trying to control the process; my need to control the process was the reason I was having difficulty. The reality of how it is working could be described as a bit chaotic.  I’ll be focused on the current song and suddenly know what the next two songs will be. Then I’ll start receiving interpretations for the next song or even two songs ahead. My preference would be to finish one song before the insights on future songs/lyrics start to emerge. But, despite the realization that “I want it that way” (pun intended), I’m going to need to relax and let it flow to me the way it needs to flow, understanding that each message is unique in how it is revealed to me. I also realize that it is the lure and challenge to decipher the code of the next song that pulls me forward. Letting go of my resistance to how these messages download to me invites (opens me up to) more creativity and keeps me in flow more often. I must trust the process; I am not alone in these creations.

In addition to letting go of the desire to control how the messages arrive, another lesson came, following the last posting (Soul Song #6: Three Little Birds), by way of a very wise and loving soul. After voicing my concerns or ‘worries’ (ironic, I know) about the lack of and even some negative feedback in response to my blog, he responded: “You can’t let not getting a pat on the back from everyone keep you from expressing yourself. You never can tell who is getting all types of inspiration from what you write. Just keep doing your thing.”  Much love to those who have been so supportive as I learn to stop looking outside of myself for feedback as to how I am doing and start determining my own worth.

Love Yourself Fiercely

You are here for the one person who can hear what you have to say, not the 99 who can’t.

~~~

Okay, I’ll admit that in the 90’s I could be heard singing along with a few ‘boy band’ hits, primarily from B2M and BSB, even though I am a child of the 60’s – The Jackson 5 and the Osmond Brothers were our boy bands.  So, it is no surprise to me that I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys would show up in this blog as Soul Song #7. This is a song that so many people love, and love to sing along with, regardless of having no clue what the lyrics mean. That also described me, until recently.

A quick Google search will guide you to many questions about the meaning of the song’s lyrics. There are plenty of questions but few answers.  The Backstreet Boys tried to answer the questions, but their responses fell short. Then the blame for the “supposed nonsensical” lyrics was placed on the co-writer’s unfamiliarity with the English language and on the changes that were made to the original lyrics. Finally, one band member attempted to stop all the speculation by announcing that the lyrics mean “whatever each individual’s interpretation is.” (For more details, see the links in the Resources section at the end of this post.) This is the reason some artists refuse to share their personal interpretations or backgrounds of their song’s lyrics; they prefer to allow the interpretation to come from the hearts of the listeners.

I believe that some music and lyrics are inspired by Source. Those songs that we love, that touch us, that bring joy or tears or both, have come from a place/energy that at times even the artist is unaware of tapping into. The muse of our creativity whispers the words, a hook, the verse, the chorus in our ear. We awaken from a dream with the tune firmly planted on replay in our mind. The secret is to be wise enough to capture these bits of golden dew while we still remember the whispering. Get it down on paper or speak the words into a recording device before they blow away; this way you can save them until there is time later to sit with the gift and turn it into an offering for humanity. It is not a stretch to say that sometimes even the artist/writer doesn’t understand the meaning but can feel the energy/vibration of the gift that has been delivered.

Let’s jump in …

Once again (as in Soul Song 5: What You Won’t Do For Love), I interpret the lyrics of this song as a conversation between Source (God, Love) and the human experiencing life/ego. Before breaking down the song’s lyrics I want to encourage an adjustment in the way you may be hearing key lines in the song’s chorus by providing brief definitions for the following question types: Empowering and Disempowering.

Empowering questions are those that have a positive effect on your thoughts and emotions and, as you repeatedly ask them, they lead to more positive and uplifting experiences, much like positive affirmations. They are thought provoking, open ended, challenging, and lead you to look for answers and new opportunities.”

Disempowering questions are those we ask that bring about negativity to our attitude or behavior and ruin potentially positive experiences before they even occur. Continuing to ask them is like repeatedly saying negative affirmations; they will undoubtedly hurt your self-esteem and lower your overall quality of life.”

In our lives, asking why bad things happen? asking why me? doesn’t help, but hinders our growth more than anything.  “Why me?” is one of the least productive questions we can ask. Asking Why?, Why Me?, and What If? questions can prevent us from living fully and following our dreams. Questions that focus on the why or reasons a thing did or did not happen are wasted time and energy; they keep us stuck in negative thoughts and self-doubts. These types of questions are usually the result of comparison thinking.

In summary, asking for God to “Tell you why” is a mistake and contributes to suffering and heartache.

At the end of this post, I’ll share suggestions on how to shift your thinking when you find yourself asking Source/God “Why?

~~~

Spirit’s Message:

Beloved daughter, your enthusiasm for this message (for this song) is palpable. This song – as you have correctly identified is once again a conversation taking place between Source and the human awareness within each person. That aspect of you that is aware that there is more to you than just a physical body but has yet to tap into an understanding of your own Divine nature and infinite presence. It is this human consciousness/awareness that questions and desires something more than what it currently has access to in life.  This aspect is attracted to and sometimes addicted to, comparison. And so, this song speaks to the relationship, conversations, and desires of Source and the human-identified awareness; and, once again, the need to awaken, remember who you really are and your connection to Source. This is indeed a love song, but not one based on the human relationship or love between two [romantic] partners. This speaks to a “call to return to love” which is placed in every human heart. Return to the awareness and recognition of who you are, how loved you are, and the awareness of the life plan that is unfolding for you just as it should.

This song is LOVE calling out to remind you of how loved you are, to remember who you are so that you can eliminate the suffering you are creating within yourself. Source is always calling, trying to reach “to your heart” to remember the connection to love, with the knowledge that deep inside of each person is the awareness waiting to be reignited – a return to love and joy. As you recall ‘the truth’ there is no longer a desire to question your life experiences or envy another’s life. You then remember the connection, the love, the calling/purpose that brought you to choose to manifest in this human form.

The “Why?” is indeed a “Why Me?” type question. Clearly in many situations it is quite healthy to ask “Why?” – but as it relates to a “Why Me?”, “Why did this happen to me?”, “Why can’t things work out for me?”, there is an implied ‘undue suffering’ that one believes/feels is not happening to others. It is negative thinking leading one to a space of hopelessness. It is the equivalence of travel not only on the wrong road but also in the wrong direction – it can only lead to disaster.  It is definitely a mistake, and it will most likely be the source of much heartbreak within your being. 

The song highlights humankind’s need to ask questions that focus on comparison with others. This nature to compare and ask “Why?” questions, to ask why others seem to have more, seem to have it easier, and to point out situations by saying you want what they have, that you want their situation in life – is a waste of time, energy, and vibration. Source is speaking on the truth that there should be no desiring/coveting of what another has or is experiencing. It is the belief that the grass is greener in another soul’s yard or pasture.  Each soul experiences joys and sorrows in each lifetime – there is no comparison to be made – for if you were to put on (wear) their burdens for a brief period you would holler out in agony. Much like Soul Song #5 (What You Won’t Do For Love), this is indeed a love song where Source expresses its unconditional love for each soul and stresses that your fire/desire should be an awakening to the remembrance of our connection, an awareness of our oneness with Source/Love, and a desire to reunite with that which you never truly left.

Each soul has a life plan for this existence; to covet or be envious of another’s unfolding plan is to misunderstand the reason you incarnate. The Source Of All That Is understands the human personality/ego’s fall into separation as an incarnate soul. This song of love from Source is a way of gentle remembrance and awakening – “Am I still your source of energy and unconditional love? Is your one desire to be one with Source/Love?”

The messages to take from this song are – that pure love calls to you and uses everything to lead you to inner peace, and that the human awareness needs to awaken and remember why it incarnated. Release your anger, fear, and ego – those survival-based aspects. Don’t make them wrong, for they have served you well, but do allow them to move through you and dissipate. On the other side you will find love, peace, and truth – the truth of who you really are in the absence of those energies. Let everything dissolve that isn’t true and the truth of who you really are will emerge.

Love yourself. Please love yourself. Stop denying yourself your own love. Being able to love begins with and within you. Give yourself permission to love yourself (all aspects of you) and be who you really are, your authentic self, and let go of your suffering. Please connect to and be the love that you promised you would be in the world, for you and for all of creation. Remember and go be who you really are.

How heartbreaking it is for Source to hear you say you want it some way other than how your life was planned and is unfolding.

~~~

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of what it’s supposed to be.

 ~ Socrates

~~~

“Life’s gonna hurt, but it is meant to be felt.

You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself.

You cannot fly until you break the shell.”

~from Break the Shell by India.Arie

I Want It That Way

Interpreting the lyrics of “I Want it That Way:

Yeah!

You are my fire,
the one desire.
Believe when I say,
“I want it that way”

(Source/Higher Self:  You indeed are and have always been my passion, and that is how I want it to be. I want you to be, my one focus, passion, and desire.

Your Source/Higher Self adores you and is always focused on you and what is for your highest good.

But we are two worlds apart.
Can’t reach to your heart,
when you say, that “I want it that way.

(Source/Higher Self:  We exist/reside in two different realms or vibrational frequencies. I can’t get you to open your heart to feel how adored and special you are to me – it is more difficult when you are focusing on that which is not for your highest good. You are choosing to turn away from the direction that Source is trying to guide you in, and you are turning away from remembering the truth of who you are, which leads to unnecessary suffering in your life.)

Tell me “Why?” (Human/Ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache.
(Source)
Tell me “Why?”
(Human/Ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake.
(Source)
“Tell me “Why?”
(Human/Ego)
I never wanna hear you say:
(Source)
“I want it that way!”
(Source & Human/Ego)

                                               
(Higher Self/Source: Through the song’s chorus repeats the understanding that getting caught up in asking Source to tell you why something is happening (or why it is happening to me) only leads to suffering and more heartache. It is a mistake. You are basically asking Source to tell you why you can’t have someone else’s experiences and life?  I never want to hear you say that you want someone else’s life or experiences.)

Am I your fire? (Human/Ego)
Your one desire?
(Human/Ego)
Yes, I know it’s too late;
(Human/Ego)
But, I want it that way!
(Human/Ego)

(Human Awareness:  Asking if Source really loves/adores him/her. Perhaps there is a life plan and everything happening in divine order, But I want it that way. “I know it is too late, but I want it that way.” This is the ego/personality still in separation speaking – acknowledging that it’s too late to change the life plan, but like a child stomping his foot or having a fit for what he wants, the ego is having a little tantrum over wanting what it wants and believes would be best.

Tell me “Why?” (Human/Ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache.
(Source)
Tell me “Why?”
(Human/Ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake.
(Source)
“Tell me “Why?”
(Human/Ego)
I never wanna hear you say:
(Source)
“I want it that way!”
(Source & Human/Ego)

(Chorus repeated: see above)

Now I can see that we’ve fallen apart
From the way that it used to be, yeah
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me –

“You are my fire,
The one desire.
You are (you are, you are, you are)”

(Human Awareness/Ego: acknowledging that they have fallen away from the close relationship (oneness) they once had with Source, but they want Source to know that deep inside the connection, the remembrance, still exist. Acknowledging that the desire and passion to align, have a personal relationship, with Source is still there.)

It also may be significant that the “You are” is repeated three times here. Three, the triad, the trinity representing ALL, Oneness, and Wisdom; it is considered a sacred and holy number.

Don’t wanna hear you say
Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache
Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake (don’t wanna hear you say)
I never wanna hear you say (oh, yeah)
I want it that way!

(Human awareness: Despite the awareness of a still existing ‘deep within’ connection to Source, doesn’t want and refuses to hear that asking for someone else’s life experiences over your own is a mistake that will only lead to heartache. Basically, the human is saying: “I don’t want to hear what you are saying, I don’t care what you are saying, I want it that way!”

Tell me “Why?” (Human/Ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache.
(Source)
Tell me “Why?”
(Human/Ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake.
(Source)
“Tell me “Why?”
(Human/Ego)
I never wanna hear you say:
(Source)
“I want it that way!”
(Source & Human/Ego)

(Chorus repeated: see above)

“Tell me “Why?” (Human/ego)
Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache.
(Source)
Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake.
(Source)
“Tell me “Why?”
(Human/ego)
I never want to hear you say
(Source)

(don’t want to hear you say) (Human/ego)
I want it that way
(Both sides speaking together)

This final stanza (above) represents a crescendo of passion from both sides of the conversation (see the labeled speaker).

‘Cause I want it that way!  (Source)

(The final comment or lyric is by Source.  Source wants you to know how loved/adored you are. Source calls to you to focus on having a direct connection. So instead of turning away from the direction that Source is trying to guide you, you focus on awakening/remembering the truth of who you are, which will lead to more joy in your life. ‘Cause that is the way God/Source/Higher Self wants it to be for you and humanity’s highest good.)

[End of lyrics]

~~~

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

When you find yourself asking God “Why?”

It is normal to want to ask God/Source “Why?” questions; I’ve done my share of foot stomping, pleading, and sharing how frustrated/angry I am with God. It doesn’t help and is more likely to hinder. “Why?” is one of the least productive questions you can ask; it contributes to self-pity and wallowing, and can ultimately lead to developing a victim mindset. As mentioned earlier, “Why?” questions are usually the result of comparison thinking. Gratitude is a pathway out of the comparison game. It allows you to accept what isn’t good about your life or situation, while also acknowledging what is good and feeling thankful and appreciative. From that space you can begin to ask productive questions.

There is a need to accept what life is trying to bring to us; looking at the fragmented pieces may not show the truth of how things will look when the puzzle finally comes together. Acceptance of the current situation doesn’t mean that you like what is happening, it means you are letting go of the mental drama of why things shouldn’t be happening as they are happening.

Reprogram your thoughts to focus on the positives rather than negatives, on gratitude/appreciation for what you have, on possibilities rather than problems. Replace a negative with a positive; replace disempowering questions with empowering questions and beliefs. Create a list of ten or more empowering questions to read and focus on at the start and end of each day.

What am I meant to learn from this situation?

What am I happy about (or grateful for) in my life?

   What type of impact do I want to have in the world?

What is my ultimate purpose in life?

How can I make this day awesome?

What is this trying to teach me?

How can I make a positive difference in the world?

Understand that your Higher Self knows the best path for you in life, but it may not appear that way sometimes because of the challenges you face. Know that those challenges are all vital lessons designed to expand/advance your Soul’s evolution. God/Source is in control, can see farther down the path than we ever could, and has  bigger plans than we can imagine.

  Your need for Source/God is as constant as the outflow of God’s love to you.

Love is who you are. Love is what you come from, and love can never leave you. If something seems to be lacking in your life it is the need for you to love you, more.  Love you; value you.

Instead of wanting life to be different than it is, you’ll find when you want what you have – with gratitude and appreciation, you’ll open to a peace within your heart that surpasses all temporary goals – such as jobs, relationships, material things, etc. Try wanting what you have – that peace you’ll find is the only thing that is permanent. Go to your heart for the peace you seek and the experience of infinite love that dwells within. It is a coming home to who you are authentically. Allow yourself to receive your value and worth from within your heart.  People all over the world are searching for a deep connection with someone; only a few are searching for a deep connection with themselves.

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.”

                                                                                                ~ The Rolling Stones

“Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

– from Desiderata (1927 poem) by Max Ehrmann

Resources:

How Asking the Right Questions Can Improve Your Life by Dan Lu 11/25/18 https://medium.com/the-ascent/how-asking-the-right-questions-can-improve-your-life-80679ca6119

When You Find Yourself Asking God “Why?” by Jenn Soehnlin 2/28/20 https://embracing.life/article/when-you-find-yourself-asking-God-why

Backstreet Boys Try to Explain the Meaning of ‘I Want It That Way’ to Chrissy Teigen https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/8459036/backstreet-boys-i-want-it-that-way-meaning-chrissy-teigen/

“Then band member AJ McLean told Entertainment Tonight the lyrics mean “whatever each individual’s interpretation is.” https://www.insider.com/backstreet-boys-i-want-it-that-way-lyrics-explained-2018-6

“The track was co-written by Swedish songwriter Max Martin, who remains a one-man wrecking crew hit maker.”

According to Richardson, while Martin is a hit-writing machine, he barely spoke English when “I Want It That Way” was written.

There’s another version of ‘I Want It That Way’ you’ve probably never heard before where the lyrics were changed to make complete sense.

Lyrics Source: Musixmatch  Songwriters: Carlsson Andreas Mikael / Sandberg Martin Karl I Want It That Way lyrics © Gv Mxm, Gv Maratone

Artie Wu – Sacred Space & Preside

Panache Desai – Call To Calm Meditations

© Soul Song Messages / CDDoula 2020 – 2021

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